I love you,Mum

Mine is better than yours
What crossed your mind when you listened to this statement?Agree?Disagree?
well,this statement is asked at the tts session last night.
for me,the answer is of course,yes.why?
because it's true that i feel mine is better than anybody else'(though sometimes i also grumbled and so on).mine is better because,i feel grateful for everything i have until now
lets list up the things i grateful for:

• life
• mum <3
•  someones i can trust
• music
• pretty things
• my past,the one who give me the best lesson

errh,i haven't thought of more,i'll list it up again later ^^
btw,i wanna share a bit bout mum.lately,she's been so much much better to me than in the past.until me myself kinda not believe.lol..
i skipped college today,excuse me ;b,because i got helly stomachache and i saw it,mum's rushing a bit when she brought me home.she bought me outfits even i don't order it,she made/renew my wardrobe,she even planned to decorate my room,she didn't get mad when i hang out with my friends,while my sisters' being scolded.owow..
tell you one thing,because i worked with her everyday,now i know something.mum is the real super hero,i was replacing her several days when she absent.and guess what,i think everybody else could be stress and can't bare it if they are in my mum's position,even me.too many things to be taken care of and she must make sure evrything is alright and when she arrived home,she still,have to do things.i'm a bit worry that she'd be beaten off,moreover she often feel insom these days.thinking bout those making me more stressed.haihh
i just hope the best for her,pray and let god do the rest o:)

right,gonna continue my "son of neptune" first
oyasumi~

-i am tired being the one who always find first-

what do you feel when you reply in two-minute-period and being replied after like hours?ugh..everything was just nice in the beginning and sucks in the middle.i am so enough with the persons who only find you when they need.however i don't really know how to kill my thoughts like,'oh,they are busy,they'll reply me.'and those butterflies when they replied,they pay attentions,fake,and pull me into deeper waiting.well,that is just me..i think it's been like habit.

oh,just in case you don't realize,the title of this bloggie has changed :bb

i think it sounds right when this blog has been my chronicle to pour my feelings to words,hehehe

when you are 18 and sick

it's a rare thing i post in a day time in weekdays.you can see from the title :(

blame the stupid lecturer!

the problem is not the sickness,but is that i have to off work today :(

it's not that i am not happy because i have lots of free time relaxing myself,there is a slight of guilt inside.when i told my mum,she's like "oyeah,whatever,i guessed it" and the same reaction from my auntie.ohmy :'(

does it mean that you may not sick because you've grown up?it's not like i got much attentions when i was a child,haha

another different kind of guilt comes from,the people who care to me.kinda guilty when they are the one who is busy asking me to take rest and blablabla...

soo,think i should get well very soon so that everything's okay?

alright,just pray for me,lol

i was thinking of changing the title of this blog,what do you think?;p

love,hueii

i.m.y

~ 

~in my dreams,you are touching my face,asking me to stay~

 

say hell-hello

people are born with one mouth and two ears.it means we are supposed to listen more than speak.but in reality,people ALWAYS speak more rather than listen,and it never be good if you speak to much.the result is,no other,gossip.gossiping is fun and entertaining.i admit,as a human,i too sometimes do it.

but man,you guys are too much.gossiping like ai" in the market!please,do something more useful rather than judge anybody about their status.

idk,even that it maybe weird,strange or whatever,i just feel like they have no rights to judge my privacy.what i do is up to me,it's my life.but someone i respect told me that i should not be too close to someone i'm not dating on.or,telling others we are not dating when in public,we are close enough.it touched my pride.so,i decide to re-think of it.nah,i wish it's the end of the story,but why does it still hang around my mind?hadehh~

2013 now!Happy New Year!!*fireworks*
how are you,people?
7 days had passed so quickly and what's new?eerrh..not much except change
day to day,i feel more lonely.sylvia,my sepergalauan friend,has found her other half and moved on~congrats darling!
now left me,the single fighter!Lol
umm,new-new fella that has almost the same thoughts with me,k,chatted me these days,but yeah,it doesn't last long.
i also lost contact with my partner in crime,jhonson.i think he has problem with his bb and formatted it :(
since we don't meet each other anymore,it'll be so hard to find him.miss the crazy moments with him.just wish someday i can contact him again,hehe
one more,i was decreed by auntie for a new division in the company.a new challenge for me.i must more or less build a way for the company in that division,and it means,i should interact with the customers more!hihihaha,omg.i told her,that's my less point and yet she still gives me that challenge.okay,lets fight!
people change,everything change~
wish i can flow with the changes and always be happy :))

Because I Miss You

늘 똑같은 하늘에 늘 같은 하루
neul ttokgateun haneure neul gateun haru
그대가 없는 것 말고는 달라진 게 없는데
geudaega eomneun geot malgoneun dallajin ge eomneunde
난 웃고만 싶은데 다 잊은 듯이
nan utgoman sipeunde da ijeun deusi
아무일 아는 듯 그렇게
amuil aneun deut geureoke
웃으면 살고픈데
useumyeon salgopeunde
그리워 그리워서 그대가 그리워서
geuriwo geuriwoseo geudaega geuriwoseo
매일 난 혼자서만 그대를 부르고 불러봐요
maeil nan honjaseoman geudaereul bureugo bulleobwayo
보고파 보고파서 그대가 보고파서
bogopa bogopaseo geudaega bogopaseo
이제 난 습관처럼 그대 이름만 부르네요
ije nan seupgwancheoreom geudae ireumman bureuneyo
오늘도
oneuldo
난 보낸줄 알았죠 다 남김없이
nan bonaenjul aratjyo da namgimeobsi
아니죠 아니죠 난 아직 그대를 못 보냈죠
anijyo anijyo nan ajik geudaereul mot bonaetjyo
그리워 그리워서 그대가 그리워서
geuriwo geuriwoseo geudaega geuriwoseo
매일 난 혼자서만 그대를 부르고 불러봐요
maeil nan honjaseoman geudaereul bureugo bulleobwayo
보고파 보고파서 그대가 보고파서
bogopa bogopaseo geudaega bogopaseo
이제 난 습관처럼 그대 이름만 부르네요
ije nan seupgwancheoreom geudae ireumman bureuneyo
오늘도
oneuldo
하루하루가 죽을 것만 같은 어떻게 해야 해요
haruharuga jugeul geotman gateun eotteoke haeya haeyo
사랑해 사랑해요 그대를 사랑해요
saranghae saranghaeyo geudaereul saranghaeyo
말조차 못하고서 그대를 그렇게 보냈네요
maljocha motagoseo geudaereul geureoke bonaenneyo
미안해 미안해요 내말이 들리나요
mianhae mianhaeyo naemari deullinayo
뒤늣은 내 고백을 그댄 들을 수 있을까요
dwineuseun nae gobaegeul geudaen deureul su isseulkkayo
사랑해요
saranghaeyo
.
.
Always under exactly the same sky, always exactly the same day
Other than your not being here, there’s nothing different at all
I just want to smile, want to forget everything
Just like absolutely nothing has happened, smiling to live my days
Miss you, miss you so much, because I miss you so much
Everyday all by myself, calling and calling you
Want to see you, want to see you, because I want to see you so much
Now it’s like I have this habit, keep calling out your name
It’s the same today
I thought I’d let go, not leaving anything behind
No, no, now I still can’t let you go
Miss you, miss you so much, because I miss you so much
Everyday all by myself, calling and calling you
Want to see you, want to see you, because I want to see you so much
Now it’s like I have this habit, keep calling out your name
It’s the same today
Everyday, everyday, it feels like I’m gonna die, what should I do?
Love you, love you, I love you
I hadn’t even spoken the words, I just let you go
Sorry, sorry, do you hear my words
My late confession, can you hear it
I love you


Really in <3 with this song.Thanks to Yong Hwa oppa  for it,hehehe.honestly this song always remind me to someone,hahh...fine,i know i shouldn't ask.i wish i could just let go of everything so it won't be a burden for me.i know i should.if only reality could be like drama.

found some picts of min hyuk oppa!!OMG...no words to say *die*

INSOMNIA .__.

it's 2 am now and i haven't sleep.it's a wow!hahaha
i can't sleep,what else?aaarhh
awoke at 12 and until now my eyes is still so cling",aigooo -__-"
indeed it's a problem for me since tomorrow i must get up at 5.30 or less to catch the boss VIP bus :b
more over i should represent my mum since she will go to Bali (safe flight mum and dad,love ya!)and again i have classes till 9 in the evening!double aaarrhh!
hikhikk
what should i do?
eyes..eyes,don't you feel tired?i'd get big problem tomorrow,today i mean
pleaseee
aah,think i should find the medicine of insomnia right now,since i've been experienced what called insom these days,fiuhh
do i get older?they said you would feel difficult to sleep when you get older
omooo,ahjumonii :(
is it because of over thinking?i don't think so either

And if you asked me if I love him,
I’d lie...

hi!don't ask how's life these days.i can't even told ya how terrible is it.i think this story was just exist in drama but the truth,i wish this could be really JUST drama.but it doesn't.fiuh..it is really hard having this kind of mix feelings.why don't one person just simply love someone and simply loved back?why there has to be a complicated drama inside?how good if each person just love each other.there would be so much easier than having all those mixed T_T

the thing is,I must face the truth.I should be mature to not keep hurting someone with no purpose,since i know exactly how it feels.haahh...

have you ever think of someone just like they really exist in your world but in fact they don't?have you ever feel like you know how exactly they feels,how they hurt just by dreaming?i know it's not logical,somehow ridiculous,but i'm so depressed bcs i do feel that way.dreamt and he told me how he's in pain.aar..going crazy sinca >< i just wish for the best,please..

night

cockroach approach

Hi..night blogers ^^
Something BIG happened
yesterday after the tuition,we(me and ir) were having chit chat at my lovie room.
suddenly she screams out!aaa...!@#$$%^&%
i saw a super nasty giant cockroach with  long antena over its head then an o-my-god-chaos!
i mean we're screaming,climb up the bed(pity my lil bed),ran out of the room and so on
it was finally safely kick out from my room,but you know,it's still hanging in front of the door!
2nd chaos :|
ir was too shock to just get out,the same as me._.
can't imagine it fly over my room or was doing something when i sleep!!it must be something wrong with my room!i must clean the mess up tomorrow,means no more rest tomorrow,uurhh..
yesterdat was a memorable day,when cockroach approach
Plok Plok Plokkk


hahaha
got a bit of drama on today's post
idk why i made it this way :b
nothing to type,nice dream <3

july wishes list

hey..it's july now!nothing special about it.it's just another new months to go.but i hope it will be better than the previous one,since june had been quiet harsh for me :b
anyway,i've the wishlist for july.here they are :

• be more mature
• be a better personality :)
• no more galau and tears
• can set my own targets
• no more fake smile
• master a song ~i'm still so so lack of playing guitar X_x 
• no more nightmares!! 

something about maturity bother me these days.maturity is needed to solve problems,but the thing is how mature a eightteen-year-old girl would be as she can face all the family problems,their conflicts and adults egoism?sometimes adults did to much childish things.they don't realize it.it seems like they're pushing us to the problems.is that something we should have in our time of growing?truly,it does make me scare of being adults.hmm..but again,maybe it's just because i'm not mature enough.

-a strong person is the one who doesn't cry.a strong person is one who quiet and shed tears for a moment and then picks up her sword and fights again-

taken from http://thehellydwellings.blogspot.com/

lessons

annyeong ^^
everybody does have good day and bad day.when you're in a good day,everything seems so fine.but those days won't last forever.same as bad days,THIS TOO WILL PAST!
think i've walk past it!i pass the exams,the bad days,and nightmares (i hope,i'm not really sure)
however i do feel a little relieved today.though i'm still in process to let go,but congrats me,i'm still the winner :) sometimes i prefer to have a character like i-don't care-at-all.life must be so much easier that way.
tell ya a thing,i'm learning to play guitar now!:b della is my big laose!haha
first lesson,cut your nails-_-
but,the 2nd day,i pause it,my hands swollen...it's really hard to have such small hands if you wanna play guitar.anw,fighting for me >~<
another good news is.......
My CN-Blue finally arrived from korea.yey!Big thanks to uncle and auntie who bought it for me when they even dunno korean language!

MinHyuk oppa~ <3

flood

hey.how's life?have so many thoughts recently.wanna know abt the nightmare?sure,it's still messing up myself till now.hmm..
right to the point,he's going two and a half days more.doesn't mean it has something to do with me or him.it's just a continuous hope and unstoppable tears to hold.i really really don't understand why it can bother me a lot.i wish i can just throw it anywhere else.not stay in my full mind :(
i can't stop thinking of how we used to be,even it happened in a short time.
i wrote a letter last night and idk where this thought from.but,the result sounds like
i've never want things this much before.i can give everything up,but not this one.please...
have you ever feel like this?
after all,these thoughts have taken my mood damn much.even my appetite,all i want now is vomit!!

mellow sunday

hi!still with the mellow me.it's sunday,i supposed to enjoy my only holiday after whole week stuck with the business.but what can i do?those kind nightmares still be my ghost.dad bought my sister teddy today.you know,it remember me of mine.i was thinking about him,how did he choose it,how did he gave me,how he made that day become unforgettable :(
i used to think this way.i lost myself in a daydream of him.everything.the way he smile,made my day,the way he said 'love you' and even the moment we tied our tinies for all those broken promises.it sucks when i realize it's just memories now.hmm.get well soon myself!!hwaiting!

30 march 2012

revenge

i love you,and i really do.why must that heartless?after all that passed.hmm.i can't believe even a pic can beat me down into parts.think it was a revenge for what i've done to someone.but i really not deliberately did it.when will everything turn okay?:(
i'm dying this way

i admit

today is really bitch day.but it's okay.i'm fine enough to not suicide..here is how it went.i went to school for some matters.i thought i would be fine in the beginning.strike one,he entered.strike two,saw his incredible heartless laugh.he laugh and doing everything like never ever happened before.damn!calm,i'm still fine.but like a movie,all the memories burst out in my mind.hmm~honestly it's really hard when you have to keep enduring your true feelings.every cells in my mind like shouting "hold on!you have to keep smiling!!give your best!i'm strong!i don't need it,i don't miss him at all,i wish nothing,nothing gonna happen even you show your pain"

i admit

soon when i got my bed,i cried like i never did.i know it's stupid.but i just can't hold it anymore.it hits me to have this kind of matter.dying when nobody cares.i don't even know how long this nightmare will resume.