I miss Butterflies!

Well,i kinda feel like guilty to this blog.wae?bcs i only look and update it when im feeling lonely,upset or bored._.
wonder whats happening these days that i choose to travel here?it's this unbearable boredom.it kinda killing me.really.i even get bored with my boredom.
another blank day,but actually not that serious.its just im sitting in front of a blank monitor and doing nothing except wandering around.so i choose to browse something and what comes out is actually an advice to write when you are bored.well,i must admit,that article did help since my hands are now busy typing all nonsense come out from my mind.
okay,lets stop the bullshits and blubber bout life.
well,life is real good these days.its a couple of week happiness for me actually.emm,its about the title,if you know what i mean.meeting someone who could brighten ur days and it just felt so good.though i still complains much as i dont feel the butterflies these 2 days.my mind is envy and what it did is just complicate the butterflies,hahaha,i dont even sure youll understand what i said.
but yknow life,things will get static in a period of time.
actually im struggling of my own thoughts.i really wanna be friends with it,but what to do,most of the time i am ensuring it,affirmating everything positive.trying to keep it busy by telling good things,good reason for bad days.it works,not so well but okay enough.but there are times when it doesnt wanna compromised and the result is,skipped class,skipped dinner lunch and etc.im wandering if is it my personality or just bcs the weather is just too gloomy for everybody?
talking bout static,im so bored with my routines.waking up getting prepared working and college life.all of it just eat my souls slowly but sure.i think i cant stop the blubber or else i can make 1000 words of essays only to complains about the routines that i must face.sometimes when i dont have anywhere to hang in the weekends,i felt like an old granny only staying at home while others are spending their youth out there.its like i supposed to be out there instead of pampering myself in my one and only room chatting(sometimes) the whole day or sleeping.i even disturbed by the fact that i sleep a lot.fiuh.
next chapter
(i read all above and another thing just popped out:/)
previously i never think about getting another further step of a relationship,but..something struck my mind and a secret has to be released,i kinda think.of.it. i mean,like,being with somebody for a quite long time in a serious one.but i bet,if somebody knows this they will absolutely laugh at it.someone recently told me that im not that kinda girl bcs i fall way too fast.well,lets just see.

After all,its been half hour since the first word.ive typed enough.im happy for having an half hour get away :D

tough tough week

hey you!why you just can't let me rest and be peace?
         Arrrgghh!asdfdhfjfkl!@#$%^
ohmy,praise the lord i got something name wifi here-_-
         it's been like months our internet connection has been cut by the irresponsible workers!*curse them!
well,anyone must be preparedwith their ears open up bcs i'll start grumbling
         start from the project we're dealing with this minute,the ob project
we should shoot a roleplay and present it in front of the class!!god!i'm not an actress,if i happened to be in a         roleplay,idk what role am i taking.actually i'm pissed bcs lately my face got too oily to be true,hell!i wish i can passed the d-day soon and no one gotta remember any sip of the video,amen!
       another d-day was yesterday,which supposed to be a nice day bcs i was going to toastmaster's contest which is really rare,ruined by 'happy' family photoshoots,plus!now i haven't got any job so i am officially so          bored staying at home everyday with much much of helly things to be done like assignments,assignments and tests.to add more of my suffer,my lil bro are so nagging these weeks,he just can't stop crying and yelling        whenever there is the word 'school'.i wonder how could all this be worse ;s
over all,it's a tough week for me,i wish it get better soon :((
       sidechat,wonder how outfit could actually boost your mood?like today,i wore a denim jacket which i have dream for months,that's the reason i like fashion and it actually helps,a lil bit,so gracias..^^
     

ps ; these was taken in class when ms yeni's computer session,it's just so urgh!bored ;p

today's just too much!

today's just too much!so many things happen just in one day and in the end of the day,it's really breaking me down,i thought i need mood booster,but just remember that not all things are only the matter of mood.it's more complicated than that,i swear.in another day i might amused myself by thanking and so on,inputting some positive things into this head,but right now,it just not.well..i'll mention the headaches one by one

MORNING SCOLD

mum has to bring my sis to doctor,since the i'm in charge of representing her as the head of those all things,as what my boss said,as the brain of the company or things like that.hell yeah..what do you think one tiny brain and two pieces of hands can do?but well,boss' always rite..sucks it..so i was doing my job and suddenly called,fiuhh..i knew it won't be a good news.after a long talks,i undrstand that what she want is for us to be like her.ohwell

i remember i told ya about resigning?i'm still hesitate of it.my boss would be mad at me and i still have a believe that i'd gain sth there,but in the other side,i was thinking of till when i can/want to stay there?

CHINGU

i finally reached one of my target for this month,that's gaining friend.well,it might sound so embarassing that this kinda thing also include in monthly target?but whatever..that friend,oops,friends i mean,i got several ppl.recently i was hanging out with a  super insensitive girl,indah aka da-da..she is a super fun friend who can be crazy with!and we have the same hobby,fashion!hahha it's nice to have someone to share the same hobby..the rests are some acquaintances who previously only acquain then now become a lil bit higher..well,maybe because we shared secrets?i'm not saying that i'm a trusted person,but..since you shared,it means you trust me,so i won't leak it

AWKWARD ONE

had a dinner together with someone whom you actually not really know,and hope to much on them would be so...awkward.

EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED

if you don't try to break the wall,i never can stop you from going,i won't even see you when you're going-_-

so deep that i can't think,it stopped ma brain..fiuhh how ironic when someone who used to be closest to you,now are like strangers?

Dear diary,I miss ya so much!

dear diary~~
huwaaa....just writing those 2 words makes me feel so excited..
how long have i been lost?months?> <
booo..so many things happened that i couldn't catch my own daily journal..
well,losing my note would be another reason for my absence.
dear diary,i was robbed like 1 month ago,20th july exactly.i don't remember the exact incident since i knocked my head and everything.was brought to hospital by a very kind "ai" and fortunately,like you see,i still can breathe and share this to you~grateful for that~
i really feels kamma exists..it is there,proven..
and i'm really really thankful,seems like my stock of good kamma really safe me from this incident.
though this thing also bring me headaches,a real one..puhh
but like yin and yang,bad thing also has good good side,isn't it?
many many people came to see me and care to me
emm..
well,that's all..haha!
hmmhmm..

lets see what we got during the absence...

Erh

Okay
I had not grumble for the several late posts
And tonight is the time!
Aarrhh
I just can't bare this anymore
The boring life,it's sucks
Lets start with my workplace
I even said to my friends " even the calendar is burnt,we won't have holidays"
For hell sake,what's the purpose of working on holiday,HOLIDAY when everybody close their shops and goes on vacation and have a superb nice trip and have  super nice foods and delicate theirselves? T_T
Another thing is,i lately think of what improvement i can get in this company..so far i still don't have any idea.but,do uou think i dare to take the risk and move my steer 180degree?
Fuhh,i envy one of my senior who's just 1 year above me.he just opened a new shop,by his own..see,when can i be like him?
Well
I also pissed off sth else
A girl that's..stupid enough i guess.who's so childish,giving up all her life to the vampire fancy things,spend her own day laying down and yeah,doing nothing can be so blessed.she have everyone on her side
I just wonder why i'm bothered of this
Haihh

when you are 18 and sick

it's a rare thing i post in a day time in weekdays.you can see from the title :(

blame the stupid lecturer!

the problem is not the sickness,but is that i have to off work today :(

it's not that i am not happy because i have lots of free time relaxing myself,there is a slight of guilt inside.when i told my mum,she's like "oyeah,whatever,i guessed it" and the same reaction from my auntie.ohmy :'(

does it mean that you may not sick because you've grown up?it's not like i got much attentions when i was a child,haha

another different kind of guilt comes from,the people who care to me.kinda guilty when they are the one who is busy asking me to take rest and blablabla...

soo,think i should get well very soon so that everything's okay?

alright,just pray for me,lol

i was thinking of changing the title of this blog,what do you think?;p

love,hueii

say hell-hello

people are born with one mouth and two ears.it means we are supposed to listen more than speak.but in reality,people ALWAYS speak more rather than listen,and it never be good if you speak to much.the result is,no other,gossip.gossiping is fun and entertaining.i admit,as a human,i too sometimes do it.

but man,you guys are too much.gossiping like ai" in the market!please,do something more useful rather than judge anybody about their status.

idk,even that it maybe weird,strange or whatever,i just feel like they have no rights to judge my privacy.what i do is up to me,it's my life.but someone i respect told me that i should not be too close to someone i'm not dating on.or,telling others we are not dating when in public,we are close enough.it touched my pride.so,i decide to re-think of it.nah,i wish it's the end of the story,but why does it still hang around my mind?hadehh~

2013 now!Happy New Year!!*fireworks*
how are you,people?
7 days had passed so quickly and what's new?eerrh..not much except change
day to day,i feel more lonely.sylvia,my sepergalauan friend,has found her other half and moved on~congrats darling!
now left me,the single fighter!Lol
umm,new-new fella that has almost the same thoughts with me,k,chatted me these days,but yeah,it doesn't last long.
i also lost contact with my partner in crime,jhonson.i think he has problem with his bb and formatted it :(
since we don't meet each other anymore,it'll be so hard to find him.miss the crazy moments with him.just wish someday i can contact him again,hehe
one more,i was decreed by auntie for a new division in the company.a new challenge for me.i must more or less build a way for the company in that division,and it means,i should interact with the customers more!hihihaha,omg.i told her,that's my less point and yet she still gives me that challenge.okay,lets fight!
people change,everything change~
wish i can flow with the changes and always be happy :))

days before the doom!

27days before the doom!and guess what am i doing right now?sitting in front of lappie and type all this!HAHA..I have just closed my diary (the 2nd XD) and finished grumbling about The Academic Nurjafa.seriously,what's in that lecturer mind?Shouldn't he go somewhere else he can praise about buncha of his abilities?uurh..Not enough,i get only 14,3 for the total 25 of his score,what a bad result TT

Anyway,i am now thinking of resigning from my job.I know it might be a great decision for me and also for them :b since now my mum is a bit busy bcs of my brother(he got chicken pox and some other complication) but yeah,i need a new air,totally new.But still hesitate on it.I'll just let it flow for this time and will make it sure later :D

Naah,the good news is,i got orders,not many,but yes,it is quite relieving for me since i don't get any this week :( but I have to keep positive and thanks God for what I have today.May tomorrow always be better!

took some selca tonight as a stress killer :pp

Oyasumi <3

In My Dreams

In my dreams...
i saw you
i saw your charming smile
your playful eyes..
In my dreams..
you told me you love me
you said,you are enchanted to meet me
In my dreams...
everything was awesome...
no tears no lies no betrayals
In my dreams...
i saw you,facing the same painful days

In my dreams...

INSOMNIA .__.

it's 2 am now and i haven't sleep.it's a wow!hahaha
i can't sleep,what else?aaarhh
awoke at 12 and until now my eyes is still so cling",aigooo -__-"
indeed it's a problem for me since tomorrow i must get up at 5.30 or less to catch the boss VIP bus :b
more over i should represent my mum since she will go to Bali (safe flight mum and dad,love ya!)and again i have classes till 9 in the evening!double aaarrhh!
hikhikk
what should i do?
eyes..eyes,don't you feel tired?i'd get big problem tomorrow,today i mean
pleaseee
aah,think i should find the medicine of insomnia right now,since i've been experienced what called insom these days,fiuhh
do i get older?they said you would feel difficult to sleep when you get older
omooo,ahjumonii :(
is it because of over thinking?i don't think so either

a muzzy morning

hours ago i woke up and one thing that slap my mind in the first is my random-nutty chats to my friends!i wrote sth weird like "tear" and the rest i can't even imagine what i said.sigh..
somehow i feel it isn't right,but yahh..i was sleeping and unconscious when i type,Lol
another thing that make this a muzzy morning is that nightmare,again
huft
it's been long enough those dreams don't terror me :(
feel so sickening of it
..
but anyway,life's okay enough right now
flowing with the new air is not too bad hehe

she called rinoa,recently someone call me that way and i have no idea why he call me rinoa hahaha <33

....

Six months gone,and I'm still reaching

Even though I know you're not there.I was playing back a thousand memories,baby

Thinking bout everything we've been through

May be I've been going back too much lately

When time stood still and I had you

cockroach approach

Hi..night blogers ^^
Something BIG happened
yesterday after the tuition,we(me and ir) were having chit chat at my lovie room.
suddenly she screams out!aaa...!@#$$%^&%
i saw a super nasty giant cockroach with  long antena over its head then an o-my-god-chaos!
i mean we're screaming,climb up the bed(pity my lil bed),ran out of the room and so on
it was finally safely kick out from my room,but you know,it's still hanging in front of the door!
2nd chaos :|
ir was too shock to just get out,the same as me._.
can't imagine it fly over my room or was doing something when i sleep!!it must be something wrong with my room!i must clean the mess up tomorrow,means no more rest tomorrow,uurhh..
yesterdat was a memorable day,when cockroach approach
Plok Plok Plokkk


hahaha
got a bit of drama on today's post
idk why i made it this way :b
nothing to type,nice dream <3

lessons

annyeong ^^
everybody does have good day and bad day.when you're in a good day,everything seems so fine.but those days won't last forever.same as bad days,THIS TOO WILL PAST!
think i've walk past it!i pass the exams,the bad days,and nightmares (i hope,i'm not really sure)
however i do feel a little relieved today.though i'm still in process to let go,but congrats me,i'm still the winner :) sometimes i prefer to have a character like i-don't care-at-all.life must be so much easier that way.
tell ya a thing,i'm learning to play guitar now!:b della is my big laose!haha
first lesson,cut your nails-_-
but,the 2nd day,i pause it,my hands swollen...it's really hard to have such small hands if you wanna play guitar.anw,fighting for me >~<
another good news is.......
My CN-Blue finally arrived from korea.yey!Big thanks to uncle and auntie who bought it for me when they even dunno korean language!

MinHyuk oppa~ <3

flood

hey.how's life?have so many thoughts recently.wanna know abt the nightmare?sure,it's still messing up myself till now.hmm..
right to the point,he's going two and a half days more.doesn't mean it has something to do with me or him.it's just a continuous hope and unstoppable tears to hold.i really really don't understand why it can bother me a lot.i wish i can just throw it anywhere else.not stay in my full mind :(
i can't stop thinking of how we used to be,even it happened in a short time.
i wrote a letter last night and idk where this thought from.but,the result sounds like
i've never want things this much before.i can give everything up,but not this one.please...
have you ever feel like this?
after all,these thoughts have taken my mood damn much.even my appetite,all i want now is vomit!!

if this wasn't a movie

this wasn't a movie nor fairytale.no fairy,no tales,no whitehorse.this is just a real suck life.i promise i won't waste my time for any of those shit dreams anymore.last night was a real bad one.i don't even need to worry about the 12-o'clock-expired time.huhh...
somehow,i feel relieves this is the last.at least i've show my best-though it's no effect at all.

 

quite regret i didn't take any picts yesterday bcos of my mood.aaarghh....

broken tied tinies

helloooooo,annyeong ^^
last posts was so mellow,bianne~
though it doesn't mean i'm happy right now-see the title > <
broken tied tinies
hmm,broken promises always leaves scars.there's always kind of regret feeling in it.moreover if it is from someone we care of.i do believe we'd put some hopes in every promises.we wish it would be a real and not just fake-nonsense-words.and when it turns to the nonsense,none will believe on the person who broke it.hmm~
anyway,i'm not gonna be mellow anymore from now on.many say i shouldn't fall just for that unworthy things.soo,,HWAITING for me!!

night <3

jealousy

sometimes i just wish when i get up in the morning,i'll change to a pretty princess.

you know?life suck!

may be everyone can pretend 'i am fine with myself',but i can't.

sometimes,i just wish that i am preety,at least more than the people i jeolous.

but what?just get myself stuck on this creepy face,fleks,and this pathetic hair!

hmm..wish for a miracle that someday it will happen.

seriously,this hit myself bad enough having a jealousy to those people.

nothing more to say,bye.

heiiheiiheii

heyya there.how's life going?pretty sad here.know why?me and my mum just had a little discussion about "relationship" .don't ask me how it goes.bad,very bad.my mum doesn't allow me to have realtionship with him.she said about how creepy is that to have a relationship at my age and something like that.hmm.she born me when she was about20 and now she caged me like this.so hypocrite.hate it!i just wonder what could we do if we only meet once a year,huh?damn!

i really hope my mum can understand.

non-title

hmm,days did not drag on well,everything gone so bad.where should i start?
okayy,i will start from the very bad-killing-tiring class,as i've mentioned before,i got 1 class as form teacher,you know what it likes?hell!
actually they are good enough,but they are really hard too control,and there's just too much works have to be done immediately,seems like i never have enough time to do that all,once again hell!
i really hope that i would not waste my times unusefully.
the second,i'm sure you are really tired to listen this but,..i miss him,so damn miss him,and the hardest is at the same time i have tto make distance to him,tiring,i hope that it can end soon
just one BOOM! and then finish.like my teacher always said 'you both can never have a clear realtionship if he keep ttm with me,but how?i've tried to ask him,but still,we are this undefined.somebody,please tell him what i want,please tell him that i'm waiting him to BOOM that.
ckck

-the end