I miss Butterflies!

Well,i kinda feel like guilty to this blog.wae?bcs i only look and update it when im feeling lonely,upset or bored._.
wonder whats happening these days that i choose to travel here?it's this unbearable boredom.it kinda killing me.really.i even get bored with my boredom.
another blank day,but actually not that serious.its just im sitting in front of a blank monitor and doing nothing except wandering around.so i choose to browse something and what comes out is actually an advice to write when you are bored.well,i must admit,that article did help since my hands are now busy typing all nonsense come out from my mind.
okay,lets stop the bullshits and blubber bout life.
well,life is real good these days.its a couple of week happiness for me actually.emm,its about the title,if you know what i mean.meeting someone who could brighten ur days and it just felt so good.though i still complains much as i dont feel the butterflies these 2 days.my mind is envy and what it did is just complicate the butterflies,hahaha,i dont even sure youll understand what i said.
but yknow life,things will get static in a period of time.
actually im struggling of my own thoughts.i really wanna be friends with it,but what to do,most of the time i am ensuring it,affirmating everything positive.trying to keep it busy by telling good things,good reason for bad days.it works,not so well but okay enough.but there are times when it doesnt wanna compromised and the result is,skipped class,skipped dinner lunch and etc.im wandering if is it my personality or just bcs the weather is just too gloomy for everybody?
talking bout static,im so bored with my routines.waking up getting prepared working and college life.all of it just eat my souls slowly but sure.i think i cant stop the blubber or else i can make 1000 words of essays only to complains about the routines that i must face.sometimes when i dont have anywhere to hang in the weekends,i felt like an old granny only staying at home while others are spending their youth out there.its like i supposed to be out there instead of pampering myself in my one and only room chatting(sometimes) the whole day or sleeping.i even disturbed by the fact that i sleep a lot.fiuh.
next chapter
(i read all above and another thing just popped out:/)
previously i never think about getting another further step of a relationship,but..something struck my mind and a secret has to be released,i kinda think.of.it. i mean,like,being with somebody for a quite long time in a serious one.but i bet,if somebody knows this they will absolutely laugh at it.someone recently told me that im not that kinda girl bcs i fall way too fast.well,lets just see.

After all,its been half hour since the first word.ive typed enough.im happy for having an half hour get away :D

a peace mind

honestly,i'm not sure what i wanna say this time,cause lately i've just passed a very hard time regarding my relationship.things are just so funny when both people are loving each other,but however they make it,there's no way they can understand about each other.understand what our couple wants and needs,isn't it the most basic ingredients of love?when the two can't tolerate each other anymore,it shouldn't be forced,should it?

but well,that's why poeple said love is blind,don't care how much differences or fights,as long as there's still a feeling,they could carry on.i sorta believe of that.

my minds are tired,everything on me is just so heavy.until the point of i wanna shout out and just sleep for the whole time.

but then,it doesn't give me any sollutions,so i decided to make peace of it.make peace of whatever is surrounding me,make peace of what bothers me,make peace of myself.it's so very very hard tough jobs for me to make peace.you know me,i'm like have tons of thoughts in my mind,it's like giant trash can.but someone said i should be a trash can without the down side,so it's blank.i hope i can be.i'll learn to...

dear someone out there...

maybe for others we are weird,unacceptable,doen't click together,or whatever,but what should i do?i have found the butterflies~shy,even it's only a lil bit,but well,those months you spend for me,yes,it does make me change my heart.well,i'm not a person who oversaying things,but now i admit,here,i have change my heart.at the first time,i also one of the person who think we doesn't match together,and wickedly worry about what others will say about us,but your kindness,care and patience has changed my mind :D and i've learned that listening to person will only make more problems for you,and it also proved that those person whom i listen to,i believe and i respect,turns out only sees my outcase and they only can complain everything about me,i can't be myself in front of them(read prev post)however,at least you have knew my weaknesses yet still accept me,although i can't do the same for ya :( but,maybe as time goes,we can change again?if so,i hope it's better,however,thanks,there...

screwed.bored.dead

canceled plans?i hate it.ugh!how does it feel when you have everything in your plan lists but all of sudden it all just burned.you're stuck and got not any single thing to do for a day?it sucks.it's just exactly i am doing right now.it is why i'm posting this all.

well,i don't wanna be a total complainer in the first place.but you know me,i just can't stay quite for the things canceled when it's all already in my mind.for the record,there's quite a disturbing stuff to deal is the upcoming plans,sigh..it's about the old n new bbq with advancers.i thought it's gotta be fun,we're gonna recall study tour memories like..everybody's having quality times together.but again,it screwed.i was trying to be helpful to think of everything,like what will be the menus and so on.of course i don't wanna be a dumb for preparing all stuffs when everybody's not giving a respond,i asked them about things i had in my mind,they said okay.but the moment after,it seems like...well...they're complaining everything i plan for them.i mean,heyy...i gotta work in these 2 days,hell i'm gonna make time to prepare all the stuffs for the sake of them?i'm just trying to be nice,but it seems the opposite to them.not like its only this,it feels like anything i do was wrong...

i don't even know if i'm doing a good thing..well,i                                                                                          just wish the plans were not totally blew off,who                                                                                            knows?

ps sorry for the lack quality camera,guess i'll have to bare with it for a lil while just for my bigger target.wish me luck,xoxo