I miss Butterflies!

Well,i kinda feel like guilty to this blog.wae?bcs i only look and update it when im feeling lonely,upset or bored._.
wonder whats happening these days that i choose to travel here?it's this unbearable boredom.it kinda killing me.really.i even get bored with my boredom.
another blank day,but actually not that serious.its just im sitting in front of a blank monitor and doing nothing except wandering around.so i choose to browse something and what comes out is actually an advice to write when you are bored.well,i must admit,that article did help since my hands are now busy typing all nonsense come out from my mind.
okay,lets stop the bullshits and blubber bout life.
well,life is real good these days.its a couple of week happiness for me actually.emm,its about the title,if you know what i mean.meeting someone who could brighten ur days and it just felt so good.though i still complains much as i dont feel the butterflies these 2 days.my mind is envy and what it did is just complicate the butterflies,hahaha,i dont even sure youll understand what i said.
but yknow life,things will get static in a period of time.
actually im struggling of my own thoughts.i really wanna be friends with it,but what to do,most of the time i am ensuring it,affirmating everything positive.trying to keep it busy by telling good things,good reason for bad days.it works,not so well but okay enough.but there are times when it doesnt wanna compromised and the result is,skipped class,skipped dinner lunch and etc.im wandering if is it my personality or just bcs the weather is just too gloomy for everybody?
talking bout static,im so bored with my routines.waking up getting prepared working and college life.all of it just eat my souls slowly but sure.i think i cant stop the blubber or else i can make 1000 words of essays only to complains about the routines that i must face.sometimes when i dont have anywhere to hang in the weekends,i felt like an old granny only staying at home while others are spending their youth out there.its like i supposed to be out there instead of pampering myself in my one and only room chatting(sometimes) the whole day or sleeping.i even disturbed by the fact that i sleep a lot.fiuh.
next chapter
(i read all above and another thing just popped out:/)
previously i never think about getting another further step of a relationship,but..something struck my mind and a secret has to be released,i kinda think.of.it. i mean,like,being with somebody for a quite long time in a serious one.but i bet,if somebody knows this they will absolutely laugh at it.someone recently told me that im not that kinda girl bcs i fall way too fast.well,lets just see.

After all,its been half hour since the first word.ive typed enough.im happy for having an half hour get away :D

screwed.bored.dead

canceled plans?i hate it.ugh!how does it feel when you have everything in your plan lists but all of sudden it all just burned.you're stuck and got not any single thing to do for a day?it sucks.it's just exactly i am doing right now.it is why i'm posting this all.

well,i don't wanna be a total complainer in the first place.but you know me,i just can't stay quite for the things canceled when it's all already in my mind.for the record,there's quite a disturbing stuff to deal is the upcoming plans,sigh..it's about the old n new bbq with advancers.i thought it's gotta be fun,we're gonna recall study tour memories like..everybody's having quality times together.but again,it screwed.i was trying to be helpful to think of everything,like what will be the menus and so on.of course i don't wanna be a dumb for preparing all stuffs when everybody's not giving a respond,i asked them about things i had in my mind,they said okay.but the moment after,it seems like...well...they're complaining everything i plan for them.i mean,heyy...i gotta work in these 2 days,hell i'm gonna make time to prepare all the stuffs for the sake of them?i'm just trying to be nice,but it seems the opposite to them.not like its only this,it feels like anything i do was wrong...

i don't even know if i'm doing a good thing..well,i                                                                                          just wish the plans were not totally blew off,who                                                                                            knows?

ps sorry for the lack quality camera,guess i'll have to bare with it for a lil while just for my bigger target.wish me luck,xoxo

No Butterflies

When we talk about love,we talk about butterflies.

The tiny lil things flatter..

make your heart beats faster..

make simple small thing become wonderful..

even only a goodnight note..

things that make you smile without even realize it...

i don't know if it's only my silly thoughts,but why adults has none of it?is it bcs they're old?or bcs they think of others instead of un-logical theory of butterflies in stomach?whatever it is.it's not fun..having those butterflies will make the love become more essential,more awesome than anything...then why no butterflies?are they all flew away bcs i'm transforming to an adult?to somebody who's more ambitious than a naive lil girl?to someone colder who started to spend every single minute dreaming to be success?i don't know if it's true..

however,i really want those butterflies,like every girl in the world..is it wrong?did i just throw myself to deeper mistake?ottoke~

Happy Munch-ing Day!

Holla ppl!
time passes by and there's too much to catch up these days..but because today is a holy-day,sooo trying to cover as much as i can in this lovely diary..
well,talking bout the title,today i hanged out with my sister,hanny and have lotta fun!which we barely can do in the dailies since we both are busy,hihi..
so let the picture talks as usual..

Sorry for the bad quality of pictures :( really wish my note back!after all,we only took at opal coffee since we have super big lunch there,now i know how is it like 'eat till you drop'.for me,eating is also another joy in life so i always feel happy whenever i gotta eat something superb!xoxo

Another Chapter

i met several ppl from my past today,they're : chris,juni and shierly.they are chingus from high school and you know what,when you met ppl from your past,there you understand clearly of what has already passed and can't turn back.i talked to them and it's like talking to strangers,remembering how we used to shared jokes and laughed together,even only the matter of months,it's all flew away and we turns out strangers.it makes me think what will happened between me and my present ppl?will we someday also turns to strangers?with memories?i know one thing,people don't last forever,memories does...from now on,i wanna respect more ppl and do goods as much as i can so that they can last longer#hopeso

ps : talking bout memories,passing by some of my bittersweet memories does make pinches to my heart.as i passed by 'lolita' novels shelves at gramedia,i thought of you and us^^ well,unfortunately maybe now i've lived somewhere in your farthest part of memory,but still thanks for giving me such memories to be remember and smile everytime i think of it..

Dear John

\

You paint me a blue sky and go back and turn it to rain

And I lived in your chess game, but you changed the rules everyday

Wondering which version of you I might get on the phone tonight

Well, I stopped picking up and this song is to let you know why

Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone

Don't think I was too young to be messed with?

The girl in the dress cried the whole way home

I should've known..

Blue isn't it?I thought i was special all this time but in fact,i'm actually nothing..

well,i kinda realize that it's not worth wasting my time for...

So bye...

Guilt and Ego

Okay,here we go
Have you ever did a mistake?don't ya lie.it's clear that everyone ever make mistakes.often maybe
Sometimes it could be a big mistake and sometimes the mistake can be called accident..
Now imagine that you are the one who made the mistake,a big? Mistake that caused your bestie trouble,caused the friendship shaken and so on,what do you feel?GUILTY
Even that you've tried to explain and clean the misunderstanding,no one believe you really sorry.yeah,that's what we called "once you make mistake,no one will believe you anymore"
I don't get the thing,i did mistake,i apologized,i've been mad,i've been stamped,my friendship broke and i cried.but i still don't get it.
I just wonder if my big ego was the cause of the change in me.eventhough i deserve to be mad to,but my self esteem refuse the stamps and all the words tht he gave me.i hate it,and i don't think we can be back to normal,though we can,i think it'd be hard.i don't wish for it.so lets hope,lets hope it doesn't last long.i miss you,bitch!