No Butterflies

When we talk about love,we talk about butterflies.

The tiny lil things flatter..

make your heart beats faster..

make simple small thing become wonderful..

even only a goodnight note..

things that make you smile without even realize it...

i don't know if it's only my silly thoughts,but why adults has none of it?is it bcs they're old?or bcs they think of others instead of un-logical theory of butterflies in stomach?whatever it is.it's not fun..having those butterflies will make the love become more essential,more awesome than anything...then why no butterflies?are they all flew away bcs i'm transforming to an adult?to somebody who's more ambitious than a naive lil girl?to someone colder who started to spend every single minute dreaming to be success?i don't know if it's true..

however,i really want those butterflies,like every girl in the world..is it wrong?did i just throw myself to deeper mistake?ottoke~

Guilt and Ego

Okay,here we go
Have you ever did a mistake?don't ya lie.it's clear that everyone ever make mistakes.often maybe
Sometimes it could be a big mistake and sometimes the mistake can be called accident..
Now imagine that you are the one who made the mistake,a big? Mistake that caused your bestie trouble,caused the friendship shaken and so on,what do you feel?GUILTY
Even that you've tried to explain and clean the misunderstanding,no one believe you really sorry.yeah,that's what we called "once you make mistake,no one will believe you anymore"
I don't get the thing,i did mistake,i apologized,i've been mad,i've been stamped,my friendship broke and i cried.but i still don't get it.
I just wonder if my big ego was the cause of the change in me.eventhough i deserve to be mad to,but my self esteem refuse the stamps and all the words tht he gave me.i hate it,and i don't think we can be back to normal,though we can,i think it'd be hard.i don't wish for it.so lets hope,lets hope it doesn't last long.i miss you,bitch!