No Butterflies

When we talk about love,we talk about butterflies.

The tiny lil things flatter..

make your heart beats faster..

make simple small thing become wonderful..

even only a goodnight note..

things that make you smile without even realize it...

i don't know if it's only my silly thoughts,but why adults has none of it?is it bcs they're old?or bcs they think of others instead of un-logical theory of butterflies in stomach?whatever it is.it's not fun..having those butterflies will make the love become more essential,more awesome than anything...then why no butterflies?are they all flew away bcs i'm transforming to an adult?to somebody who's more ambitious than a naive lil girl?to someone colder who started to spend every single minute dreaming to be success?i don't know if it's true..

however,i really want those butterflies,like every girl in the world..is it wrong?did i just throw myself to deeper mistake?ottoke~

Dear John

\

You paint me a blue sky and go back and turn it to rain

And I lived in your chess game, but you changed the rules everyday

Wondering which version of you I might get on the phone tonight

Well, I stopped picking up and this song is to let you know why

Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone

Don't think I was too young to be messed with?

The girl in the dress cried the whole way home

I should've known..

Blue isn't it?I thought i was special all this time but in fact,i'm actually nothing..

well,i kinda realize that it's not worth wasting my time for...

So bye...

-i am tired being the one who always find first-

what do you feel when you reply in two-minute-period and being replied after like hours?ugh..everything was just nice in the beginning and sucks in the middle.i am so enough with the persons who only find you when they need.however i don't really know how to kill my thoughts like,'oh,they are busy,they'll reply me.'and those butterflies when they replied,they pay attentions,fake,and pull me into deeper waiting.well,that is just me..i think it's been like habit.

oh,just in case you don't realize,the title of this bloggie has changed :bb

i think it sounds right when this blog has been my chronicle to pour my feelings to words,hehehe

And if you asked me if I love him,
I’d lie...

hi!don't ask how's life these days.i can't even told ya how terrible is it.i think this story was just exist in drama but the truth,i wish this could be really JUST drama.but it doesn't.fiuh..it is really hard having this kind of mix feelings.why don't one person just simply love someone and simply loved back?why there has to be a complicated drama inside?how good if each person just love each other.there would be so much easier than having all those mixed T_T

the thing is,I must face the truth.I should be mature to not keep hurting someone with no purpose,since i know exactly how it feels.haahh...

have you ever think of someone just like they really exist in your world but in fact they don't?have you ever feel like you know how exactly they feels,how they hurt just by dreaming?i know it's not logical,somehow ridiculous,but i'm so depressed bcs i do feel that way.dreamt and he told me how he's in pain.aar..going crazy sinca >< i just wish for the best,please..

night

....

Six months gone,and I'm still reaching

Even though I know you're not there.I was playing back a thousand memories,baby

Thinking bout everything we've been through

May be I've been going back too much lately

When time stood still and I had you

mellow sunday

hi!still with the mellow me.it's sunday,i supposed to enjoy my only holiday after whole week stuck with the business.but what can i do?those kind nightmares still be my ghost.dad bought my sister teddy today.you know,it remember me of mine.i was thinking about him,how did he choose it,how did he gave me,how he made that day become unforgettable :(
i used to think this way.i lost myself in a daydream of him.everything.the way he smile,made my day,the way he said 'love you' and even the moment we tied our tinies for all those broken promises.it sucks when i realize it's just memories now.hmm.get well soon myself!!hwaiting!

30 march 2012

heiiheiiheii

heyya there.how's life going?pretty sad here.know why?me and my mum just had a little discussion about "relationship" .don't ask me how it goes.bad,very bad.my mum doesn't allow me to have realtionship with him.she said about how creepy is that to have a relationship at my age and something like that.hmm.she born me when she was about20 and now she caged me like this.so hypocrite.hate it!i just wonder what could we do if we only meet once a year,huh?damn!

i really hope my mum can understand.