I miss Butterflies!

Well,i kinda feel like guilty to this blog.wae?bcs i only look and update it when im feeling lonely,upset or bored._.
wonder whats happening these days that i choose to travel here?it's this unbearable boredom.it kinda killing me.really.i even get bored with my boredom.
another blank day,but actually not that serious.its just im sitting in front of a blank monitor and doing nothing except wandering around.so i choose to browse something and what comes out is actually an advice to write when you are bored.well,i must admit,that article did help since my hands are now busy typing all nonsense come out from my mind.
okay,lets stop the bullshits and blubber bout life.
well,life is real good these days.its a couple of week happiness for me actually.emm,its about the title,if you know what i mean.meeting someone who could brighten ur days and it just felt so good.though i still complains much as i dont feel the butterflies these 2 days.my mind is envy and what it did is just complicate the butterflies,hahaha,i dont even sure youll understand what i said.
but yknow life,things will get static in a period of time.
actually im struggling of my own thoughts.i really wanna be friends with it,but what to do,most of the time i am ensuring it,affirmating everything positive.trying to keep it busy by telling good things,good reason for bad days.it works,not so well but okay enough.but there are times when it doesnt wanna compromised and the result is,skipped class,skipped dinner lunch and etc.im wandering if is it my personality or just bcs the weather is just too gloomy for everybody?
talking bout static,im so bored with my routines.waking up getting prepared working and college life.all of it just eat my souls slowly but sure.i think i cant stop the blubber or else i can make 1000 words of essays only to complains about the routines that i must face.sometimes when i dont have anywhere to hang in the weekends,i felt like an old granny only staying at home while others are spending their youth out there.its like i supposed to be out there instead of pampering myself in my one and only room chatting(sometimes) the whole day or sleeping.i even disturbed by the fact that i sleep a lot.fiuh.
next chapter
(i read all above and another thing just popped out:/)
previously i never think about getting another further step of a relationship,but..something struck my mind and a secret has to be released,i kinda think.of.it. i mean,like,being with somebody for a quite long time in a serious one.but i bet,if somebody knows this they will absolutely laugh at it.someone recently told me that im not that kinda girl bcs i fall way too fast.well,lets just see.

After all,its been half hour since the first word.ive typed enough.im happy for having an half hour get away :D

11.12.13

when joke goes to far...
everyone says that today is such a special day,but for me it's a hell.i really really deadly hate today!there's nothing to be grateful for!snd about that joke,maybe you think it's funny,bitches!but it is not at all to the object!how can you creatures says such a bad disgusting thing about someone?previously i thought you're all fun and i was so addicted to you guys,but now,i don't know what wrong from me that you can harrass me,saying something like i'm just a wore cloth which you usually used to rub your ass!how can you say that and still laugh like it's funny,now i ask you,if i make you become the object of those harrassment,how would you feel,huh?i think you'll be just fine because you're a bitch....you guys are just like the pretty lil liar girls,well,instead ugly lil liars,they're all friend but they spoke about each other,lie to each other but worse than them,you spoke about one you yourself call a buddy!i can't believe it...only several weeks ago,you're my bestfriends,but now it really seems like you guys only talk to me just to laugh at me and everything i do is wrong for you guys..i hate you!you make no peace of me!!!i wish you got your kamma very soon!

Dear diary,I miss ya so much!

dear diary~~
huwaaa....just writing those 2 words makes me feel so excited..
how long have i been lost?months?> <
booo..so many things happened that i couldn't catch my own daily journal..
well,losing my note would be another reason for my absence.
dear diary,i was robbed like 1 month ago,20th july exactly.i don't remember the exact incident since i knocked my head and everything.was brought to hospital by a very kind "ai" and fortunately,like you see,i still can breathe and share this to you~grateful for that~
i really feels kamma exists..it is there,proven..
and i'm really really thankful,seems like my stock of good kamma really safe me from this incident.
though this thing also bring me headaches,a real one..puhh
but like yin and yang,bad thing also has good good side,isn't it?
many many people came to see me and care to me
emm..
well,that's all..haha!
hmmhmm..

lets see what we got during the absence...

I love you,Mum

Mine is better than yours
What crossed your mind when you listened to this statement?Agree?Disagree?
well,this statement is asked at the tts session last night.
for me,the answer is of course,yes.why?
because it's true that i feel mine is better than anybody else'(though sometimes i also grumbled and so on).mine is better because,i feel grateful for everything i have until now
lets list up the things i grateful for:

• life
• mum <3
•  someones i can trust
• music
• pretty things
• my past,the one who give me the best lesson

errh,i haven't thought of more,i'll list it up again later ^^
btw,i wanna share a bit bout mum.lately,she's been so much much better to me than in the past.until me myself kinda not believe.lol..
i skipped college today,excuse me ;b,because i got helly stomachache and i saw it,mum's rushing a bit when she brought me home.she bought me outfits even i don't order it,she made/renew my wardrobe,she even planned to decorate my room,she didn't get mad when i hang out with my friends,while my sisters' being scolded.owow..
tell you one thing,because i worked with her everyday,now i know something.mum is the real super hero,i was replacing her several days when she absent.and guess what,i think everybody else could be stress and can't bare it if they are in my mum's position,even me.too many things to be taken care of and she must make sure evrything is alright and when she arrived home,she still,have to do things.i'm a bit worry that she'd be beaten off,moreover she often feel insom these days.thinking bout those making me more stressed.haihh
i just hope the best for her,pray and let god do the rest o:)

right,gonna continue my "son of neptune" first
oyasumi~

Thank You

Thank you~
For still giving me a day to breath,loved and cheers~
Even it's not the best one,still,thanks :)
And i wish,the coming days will be more colorful and worth thanking for~~♡