Guilt and Ego

Okay,here we go
Have you ever did a mistake?don't ya lie.it's clear that everyone ever make mistakes.often maybe
Sometimes it could be a big mistake and sometimes the mistake can be called accident..
Now imagine that you are the one who made the mistake,a big? Mistake that caused your bestie trouble,caused the friendship shaken and so on,what do you feel?GUILTY
Even that you've tried to explain and clean the misunderstanding,no one believe you really sorry.yeah,that's what we called "once you make mistake,no one will believe you anymore"
I don't get the thing,i did mistake,i apologized,i've been mad,i've been stamped,my friendship broke and i cried.but i still don't get it.
I just wonder if my big ego was the cause of the change in me.eventhough i deserve to be mad to,but my self esteem refuse the stamps and all the words tht he gave me.i hate it,and i don't think we can be back to normal,though we can,i think it'd be hard.i don't wish for it.so lets hope,lets hope it doesn't last long.i miss you,bitch!