dear someone out there...

maybe for others we are weird,unacceptable,doen't click together,or whatever,but what should i do?i have found the butterflies~shy,even it's only a lil bit,but well,those months you spend for me,yes,it does make me change my heart.well,i'm not a person who oversaying things,but now i admit,here,i have change my heart.at the first time,i also one of the person who think we doesn't match together,and wickedly worry about what others will say about us,but your kindness,care and patience has changed my mind :D and i've learned that listening to person will only make more problems for you,and it also proved that those person whom i listen to,i believe and i respect,turns out only sees my outcase and they only can complain everything about me,i can't be myself in front of them(read prev post)however,at least you have knew my weaknesses yet still accept me,although i can't do the same for ya :( but,maybe as time goes,we can change again?if so,i hope it's better,however,thanks,there...

tgif

happy weekend
how unbelievable that i actually had worked for 5 days^^well,guess one and ha half motnh is enough for unemployed status.i have currently work in a tour and travel agent in ticketing dept,if i may say the job is easy,too easy,till i got so many rest time in between my worrk.i was wondering if it's bcs just the beginning.well,i hope so,bcs i'll be too bored if i'm just sit there for 12 hours a day.maybe i can find another side job?hmm..to be honest,i need extra income right now :( then,after 4 days waiting,finally today my boss allow me to handle the customers,i sold 11 tickets today,i think it's too good for a beginning,but okay,i wish for more....
just that for today
night

11.12.13

when joke goes to far...
everyone says that today is such a special day,but for me it's a hell.i really really deadly hate today!there's nothing to be grateful for!snd about that joke,maybe you think it's funny,bitches!but it is not at all to the object!how can you creatures says such a bad disgusting thing about someone?previously i thought you're all fun and i was so addicted to you guys,but now,i don't know what wrong from me that you can harrass me,saying something like i'm just a wore cloth which you usually used to rub your ass!how can you say that and still laugh like it's funny,now i ask you,if i make you become the object of those harrassment,how would you feel,huh?i think you'll be just fine because you're a bitch....you guys are just like the pretty lil liar girls,well,instead ugly lil liars,they're all friend but they spoke about each other,lie to each other but worse than them,you spoke about one you yourself call a buddy!i can't believe it...only several weeks ago,you're my bestfriends,but now it really seems like you guys only talk to me just to laugh at me and everything i do is wrong for you guys..i hate you!you make no peace of me!!!i wish you got your kamma very soon!

screwed.bored.dead

canceled plans?i hate it.ugh!how does it feel when you have everything in your plan lists but all of sudden it all just burned.you're stuck and got not any single thing to do for a day?it sucks.it's just exactly i am doing right now.it is why i'm posting this all.

well,i don't wanna be a total complainer in the first place.but you know me,i just can't stay quite for the things canceled when it's all already in my mind.for the record,there's quite a disturbing stuff to deal is the upcoming plans,sigh..it's about the old n new bbq with advancers.i thought it's gotta be fun,we're gonna recall study tour memories like..everybody's having quality times together.but again,it screwed.i was trying to be helpful to think of everything,like what will be the menus and so on.of course i don't wanna be a dumb for preparing all stuffs when everybody's not giving a respond,i asked them about things i had in my mind,they said okay.but the moment after,it seems like...well...they're complaining everything i plan for them.i mean,heyy...i gotta work in these 2 days,hell i'm gonna make time to prepare all the stuffs for the sake of them?i'm just trying to be nice,but it seems the opposite to them.not like its only this,it feels like anything i do was wrong...

i don't even know if i'm doing a good thing..well,i                                                                                          just wish the plans were not totally blew off,who                                                                                            knows?

ps sorry for the lack quality camera,guess i'll have to bare with it for a lil while just for my bigger target.wish me luck,xoxo

No Butterflies

When we talk about love,we talk about butterflies.

The tiny lil things flatter..

make your heart beats faster..

make simple small thing become wonderful..

even only a goodnight note..

things that make you smile without even realize it...

i don't know if it's only my silly thoughts,but why adults has none of it?is it bcs they're old?or bcs they think of others instead of un-logical theory of butterflies in stomach?whatever it is.it's not fun..having those butterflies will make the love become more essential,more awesome than anything...then why no butterflies?are they all flew away bcs i'm transforming to an adult?to somebody who's more ambitious than a naive lil girl?to someone colder who started to spend every single minute dreaming to be success?i don't know if it's true..

however,i really want those butterflies,like every girl in the world..is it wrong?did i just throw myself to deeper mistake?ottoke~