30.6.12

july wishes list

hey..it's july now!nothing special about it.it's just another new months to go.but i hope it will be better than the previous one,since june had been quiet harsh for me :b
anyway,i've the wishlist for july.here they are :
  • be more mature
  • be a better personality :)
  • no more galau and tears
  • can set my own targets
  • no more fake smile
  • master a song ~i'm still so so lack of playing guitar X_x 
  • no more nightmares!! 
something about maturity bother me these days.maturity is needed to solve problems,but the thing is how mature a eightteen-year-old girl would be as she can face all the family problems,their conflicts and adults egoism?sometimes adults did to much childish things.they don't realize it.it seems like they're pushing us to the problems.is that something we should have in our time of growing?truly,it does make me scare of being adults.hmm..but again,maybe it's just because i'm not mature enough.

-a strong person is the one who doesn't cry.a strong person is one who quiet and shed tears for a moment and then picks up her sword and fights again-
taken from http://thehellydwellings.blogspot.com/

25.6.12

lessons

annyeong ^^
everybody does have good day and bad day.when you're in a good day,everything seems so fine.but those days won't last forever.same as bad days,THIS TOO WILL PAST!
think i've walk past it!i pass the exams,the bad days,and nightmares (i hope,i'm not really sure)
however i do feel a little relieved today.though i'm still in process to let go,but congrats me,i'm still the winner :) sometimes i prefer to have a character like i-don't care-at-all.life must be so much easier that way.
tell ya a thing,i'm learning to play guitar now!:b della is my big laose!haha
first lesson,cut your nails-_-
but,the 2nd day,i pause it,my hands swollen...it's really hard to have such small hands if you wanna play guitar.anw,fighting for me >~<
another good news is.......
My CN-Blue finally arrived from korea.yey!Big thanks to uncle and auntie who bought it for me when they even dunno korean language!


MinHyuk oppa~ <3

23.6.12

flood

hey.how's life?have so many thoughts recently.wanna know abt the nightmare?sure,it's still messing up myself till now.hmm..
right to the point,he's going two and a half days more.doesn't mean it has something to do with me or him.it's just a continuous hope and unstoppable tears to hold.i really really don't understand why it can bother me a lot.i wish i can just throw it anywhere else.not stay in my full mind :(
i can't stop thinking of how we used to be,even it happened in a short time.
i wrote a letter last night and idk where this thought from.but,the result sounds like
i've never want things this much before.i can give everything up,but not this one.please...
have you ever feel like this?
after all,these thoughts have taken my mood damn much.even my appetite,all i want now is vomit!!

16.6.12

if this wasn't a movie

this wasn't a movie nor fairytale.no fairy,no tales,no whitehorse.this is just a real suck life.i promise i won't waste my time for any of those shit dreams anymore.last night was a real bad one.i don't even need to worry about the 12-o'clock-expired time.huhh...
somehow,i feel relieves this is the last.at least i've show my best-though it's no effect at all.







quite regret i didn't take any picts yesterday bcos of my mood.aaarghh....

13.6.12

broken tied tinies

helloooooo,annyeong ^^
last posts was so mellow,bianne~
though it doesn't mean i'm happy right now-see the title > <
broken tied tinies
hmm,broken promises always leaves scars.there's always kind of regret feeling in it.moreover if it is from someone we care of.i do believe we'd put some hopes in every promises.we wish it would be a real and not just fake-nonsense-words.and when it turns to the nonsense,none will believe on the person who broke it.hmm~
anyway,i'm not gonna be mellow anymore from now on.many say i shouldn't fall just for that unworthy things.soo,,HWAITING for me!!

night <3

10.6.12

mellow sunday

hi!still with the mellow me.it's sunday,i supposed to enjoy my only holiday after whole week stuck with the business.but what can i do?those kind nightmares still be my ghost.dad bought my sister teddy today.you know,it remember me of mine.i was thinking about him,how did he choose it,how did he gave me,how he made that day become unforgettable :(
i used to think this way.i lost myself in a daydream of him.everything.the way he smile,made my day,the way he said 'love you' and even the moment we tied our tinies for all those broken promises.it sucks when i realize it's just memories now.hmm.get well soon myself!!hwaiting!

30 march 2012

9.6.12

revenge

i love you,and i really do.why must that heartless?after all that passed.hmm.i can't believe even a pic can beat me down into parts.think it was a revenge for what i've done to someone.but i really not deliberately did it.when will everything turn okay?:(
i'm dying this way

7.6.12

mistakes & coffee

hi!
another spill out tonight.hehe.
i skipped my work today,again,went to cendana.
we had mr.nugroho for "5 ways to be rich" session.you know,what's taught doesn't seems complicated,but yet not easy to do.fiuh..
bad news is,i was announced as the worst worker.hooray for me -_-
i made a lotta mistakes in 1-month time,hiks
i should've be more serious!
anyway,had a bite of fun today..^^

killiney^^
nightie <3

6.6.12

cheer up

holaa :D
how was your days,bloggers?
some random chats tonight.
i am so much better today,cheers for me!
had a long day yesterday with my bestie,irena.hyuu hyuu
we went to free lecturing program in cendana-a lil bit disappoint with this part,not like what i thought actually-but yeah,we had funs there with the game.
the good one was we had a super fun hang out at sun,sushi-ing and blaring around the boutiques :b

~katsu don~

i'm grateful to have people who are close to me,who hate me,and who teach me how life is.
love,me :)

4.6.12

chocolate-icecream

hi!actually i'm now speechless.with my mum in front plus her monster face :( there's nothing we can do if she'd turn red like this.just hope she can calm down like i'm trying to.pretty shits today.find out someone's deleting me.hahaha.it's so pathetic while someone who once close to us now  totally delete us.stop,crybaby!i was quite shock when i got it.hmm~
my sister should be the heroine today.drop me to fountain and got me a chocolate icecream!chocolate + ice cream~it's da best moodbooster!:D heard that chocolate actually can relieve stress and it really does,hehe



this should be posted 2 days ago.but something's up so i just have time to post it today :b
feel sorry to my sister.bcs of those icecream,we got trouble because we arrived home too late,she was scolded by my mum and nearly can't go to her community anymore.thanks God,she is now save ^ ^

here is some shots taken that day





so cuteee~





eventhough problems still messes around,i believe it will get better tomorrow :) byee

1.6.12

i admit

today is really bitch day.but it's okay.i'm fine enough to not suicide..here is how it went.i went to school for some matters.i thought i would be fine in the beginning.strike one,he entered.strike two,saw his incredible heartless laugh.he laugh and doing everything like never ever happened before.damn!calm,i'm still fine.but like a movie,all the memories burst out in my mind.hmm~honestly it's really hard when you have to keep enduring your true feelings.every cells in my mind like shouting "hold on!you have to keep smiling!!give your best!i'm strong!i don't need it,i don't miss him at all,i wish nothing,nothing gonna happen even you show your pain"
i admit
soon when i got my bed,i cried like i never did.i know it's stupid.but i just can't hold it anymore.it hits me to have this kind of matter.dying when nobody cares.i don't even know how long this nightmare will resume.